You know I’m a giant fan, and supporter, of radio.
I’m also a huge fan of hit songs, pop singles, etc.
Spending a few hours listening to the radio today just made me shake my head, laugh, cry, then finally say, I get it.
First of all, it’s complete comedy, that a few years ago, top forty refused to play anything with 4 on the floor, because they said it was dance. But, hey money talks, especially during shrinking ad rev.
Here’s my take on what I heard.
Music is completely modular and interchangeable.
All of the production is identical, all of the songs are basically identical, and the artists are interchangeable.
There wasn’t one touch of originality, uniqueness, anything of that ilk, to be found anywhere, except one song.
Now let’s take this Eden XO song.
That could be Cindy XO, Michele XO, Mandy XO, even my dick XO.
It wouldn’t matter.
There wasn’t one fucking thing about it that would make anyone give a shit about knowing the artist further.
Her little party homage to the weekend made Loverboy’s song, of similar subject matter, sound like “Like A Rolling Stone.”
And when you can get Loverboy to be equal to Bob Dylan, shit is just fucked.
That Lunch Money Lewis fiasco, which by the way, only went as high as #27, is not exactly deathless prose and Destiny’s Child were far move clever about “Bills”.
And a continued hats off to Doug Morris for the untold millions spent on Dr. Luke’s stiff label.
Geronimo could be sung by anyone in this group and be a hit, but there is not one fucking thing about that artist anyone will ever give a shit about.
Maybe a duet with Goyte is in his future.
Fuck Ed Sheeran too. He was almost interesting until he pussied out and let the beloved A&R fuck with his vibe in an attempt to get more airplay.
He should have talked to Mike Posner about that.
Posner could have been huge, until they fucking homogenized him.
“Drug Dealer Girl” was genius.
Fall Out Boy have become sample kings. Comedy.
But they always were, just Wentz knew how to get paid from the mindless indie kids.
“Yes kids, fuck the majors! But pay me out the ass!” Genius, that kid.
The only thing I heard today that made me go, this is good and interesting, was Adam Lambert.
But this kid is a genuine star and knows how to be a star and this song is fucking great.
He makes me want to be a fan, and I am.
This entire industry deserves what they got.
Fucking idiots of the highest order.